Do we want what's best for our children? Or do we just want them to be the best? These are the right questions to asked in a great documentary called the “Trophy kids”. But there were some terrifying examples also demonstrated...
Can you imagine to call your child a "crazy b***h" if she is not delivering at a championship? Do you want to bring up genius to get money? Are you ready to be verbally abusive if you are not satisfied with the performance of your child?
If yes, this course is not for you!
The reason for choosing this topic at the beginning is, that you should never forget about the real purpose of Bringing Up Genius. Beside mentioning some bad examples in this lesson I will present that it is possible to bring up a happy genius. Moreover, it can be one of the best ways…
But let me tell you another story! 18th of March 2015 is one of the most interesting days for parents who are thinking about Bringing Up Genius.
On this day Serena Williams and Tímea Bacsinszky played in Indian Wells. Serena Williams is at the moment 1st, and Tímea Bacsinszky is 15th at the Women’s Tennis Association’s rankings. So both of them are top class players, and I would call both of them Tennis geniuses.
A few weeks after the game the father of Serena could feel like in Heaven, and the father of Tímea could feel like in Hell. And the reason was not that Tímea lost the match after winning 15 matches in a row.
Tímea’s father is Igor Bacsinszky. The world could not even pronounce the name of the man with Hungarian origins, but newspapers all over the world mentioned his name.
Her daughter said: 'My dad doesn't deserve children' for the way he treated her.
She called her father a "control freak" and said of her childhood, "I was living in Switzerland and seeing all those other kids around me who had nice families, and then me on the other side. It's difficult, when you are the kid of a parent, who is that kind of pushy parent, who wants to live his dream through your life."
However, the story should not necessarily end like this.
Richard Williams was born in Louisiana, in the United States. He was raised as one of six children by his single mom after his father left them. When he was a small child, three men beat him in the street for being black and he was upset in his whole life that his father just looked and did nothing. He made a decision later to bring up Tennis geniuses and prove the world, that an African-American father with this background can raise exceptional children. He has earned to have a reputation as someone willing to question the sport’s establishments.
In 2001 the two Williams girls played not with each other because of an injury, and the family was attacked for manipulating the results. And two days later the crowd unleashed its frustration on Serena and her family by booing the teenager. Nine days later, the father would tell USA Today that he was responding to racial taunts and they decided to boycott the event.
So this day was also important for Serena. She returned after 14 years boycotting the WTA event in Indian Wells. She called Indian Wells return one of the proudest moments of her career.
As his daughter’s careers have progressed he has taken a less viable role and is less involved in their coaching. He proved for the world how successful a man can be with his background, and turn his daughters into two of the biggest names in the women’s game.
This is the biggest threat for you if you are a coach, a manager, and a parent for your child. It is not the biggest threat at the beginning, but after a while it should be clear, that your child needs you as a father (mother), and the happiness of the child and the whole family is key to the success of the process what we call Bring Up Genius.
According to the Genius Theory of László Polgár (author of Nevelj zsenit – Bring Up Genius), the purpose of pedagogy is reaching happiness in someone’s life. He also admits, that your child and your family can be happy in several ways, and Geniuses can also be unhappy people, however the most certain way to reach a high level of self-realization and happiness is by bringing up genius.
He is very proud, that his daughters were not marionettes; they were always active participants of his experiment. Based on his theory you cannot raise a marionette a Genius, if the child does not want that it, you will not succeed. So Freedom was not something taken from the Polgár girls, but they had a chance to be as free as possible, to be free to do what they love.
Many times I hear questions if it is possible to be happy based on your decision. Research suggest that you can influence it on daily basis. Based on the research of Sonja Lyubomirsky, roughly 50 percent of happiness is determined by our genes and 10 percent by our life circumstance, but 40 percent depends on our daily activities.
So If I look at these numbers, it I think we will have to do a lot in the next few weeks to make this a reality also for your child.
Now it’s your turn! I would be happy to hear your voice what you are thinking about these examples, or what is your personal motivation about bringing up genius?